The Elmer House

Monday, April 6, 2009

The Big 3-0: Part IV, The Roast

Samuel's family has a wonderful tradition of roasting the folks who hit major age milestones. And Samuel and I love to get into the spirit of gag-gifts. We plot and plan well in advance, and make sure to create something spectacularly funny for the unfortunate birthday boy or girl.

For several years now, we've been warned that there would be major pay-back for all that we've dished out. But we weren't worried. We even encouraged them.

Because we knew that if we were going to go down in flames, at least we would be the ones to light the match!

Hence, we turned the tables on everyone...

by arriving at our roast as...

The future Mr. & Mrs. Samuel Elmer!

While we were dressing, the kids reactions ranged from puzzled to mortified as they observed our transformation. Owen looked thoroughly confused, and Isabella kept exclaiming that people were going to see us!

What made things worse, was that just I was putting on the finishing touches on Sam's giant uni-brow, we heard a knock on the door. Ava came tearing through the house announcing that Bro. Faupula was at the door! Samuel and I knew he had no choice but to answer the door in costume, and he did sheepishly, while we watched Dee's jaw drop!

Not long after that we set out for the evening, but we had a few stops along the way including his parent's house so that Samuel could snatch his Dad's old man sunglasses.

Yes, he really wears these.

We then dropped the kid's off at my mom's, before we headed to the party. Needless to say, our appearance had the desired effect, and we took everyone by surprise!

Note the subtle details:

The uni-brow...
The shaved crown of the head...
The nose and ear hairs!

The blue eyeshadow...
Smeared lipstick...
The famous red hat!

Amongst the many gag gifts, we received...

Sunblock for men. Specifically formulated for the bald spot on top of the head.

Sam sadly noted that this would actually be a very useful gift!

Instant abs!

And miracle-grow for hair!

I was treated to a bevy of mature motherhood products, including a hat/wig combo, a bottle of prune juice, a wipe stick (don't ask), and a nursing/slinky bra.

The party was a hoot and Samuel and I had a blast!

We were even serenaded by our brother-in-law Bill!

Thank you everyone for an unforgettable roast!

Note:
The next day, Ava looked at us and heaved an enormous sigh of relief.
"You're back to normal!"

The Big 3-0: Part III, Samuel's Turn

Sam likes to say...
"I married an older woman." and "She robbed the cradle."

But really he's only 2-measly weeks younger than me. And not long after I turned 30, he followed suit to my delight!

As a surprise, Owen, Iris, and I worked our heinies off in the garage to clean things up and move things around.

Our goal?
To make space for his car.

We finished in plenty of time, and even made a cheeky sign to greet him when he came home!

Happy Birthday Samuel!

Because he loves breakfast, he chose to eat at Venita Rheas for an early morning meal. He had a monstrous turkey and avocado omelet with fresh squeezed orange juice.

We were all stuffed to the gills, when the waitress surprised us with Sam's birthday treat: A huge mint-chocolate chip ice-cream cake!

Of course we couldn't turn that down. So we all settled in and did our best to make Venita proud!

We love you Daddy!

The Big 3-0: Part II, The Surprise Party

This year, all I wanted for my birthday was a free day at home. It seems like we are always rushing here and there, and I just wanted an empty day on the calendar for our family to enjoy just being together. So in the middle of this blissful do-nothing none-itinerary, I knew my time was up when my husband gave me a silly grin and asked if I knew how much my mom loved me.

It was then that I knew...

Surprise Party!

The afternoon was spent eating delicious cake,

opening gifts,

and looking at silly pictures!

Thanks for the surprise party mom!

I love you!

The Big 3-0: Part I, At Home

On Saturday March 14th, I turned 30!

Samuel knows I'm a food lover, and rather than give me a dozen red roses, he surprised me with...

A dozen chocolate dipped strawberries!

We were all happy!

Later, per Sam Elmer birthday tradition, I picked my restaurant-of-choice:

Cattleman's!

Unfortunately, Sam forgot to make a reservation, so at 6 PM on a Saturday night we were escorted to the waiting area. It was a 45-minute wait, or so they said, and miraculously the kids did great. I did break out the goldfish, and we had to mediate the kids in taking turns holding the restaurant beeper, but before long we were shown our table.

All I can say is:
Thank goodness for bread and salad that arrives promptly after you sit down!

The kids cheered during my birthday song, ate my birthday sundae, and they all tried on my cowboy hat!

It was a perfect evening out!

Everyone's been asking if I dread turning the big 3-0, and honestly, I don't! I feel like I've been 30 for a couple of years now. I think it stemmed from a visit to the dentist several years ago. I was going in for a root canal, so I knew I was going to be in the chair for awhile. I went in super-comfy, and didn't even bother to put on make-up. To top it all off, it was my birthday, which I mentioned to the dental assistant who exclaimed, "Oh, how old are you? Thirty-?" She trailed off waiting for me to fill in the correct number, but I had to correct her: "Actually, I'm not thirty yet. I'm turning 27." Ouch! She turned about 3 shades of purple before excusing herself awkwardly. Later, I went home and cried.

I'm over that painful episode, which I now think is quite funny, and embrace the body and spirit that comes from living 30 blessed years. I have nothing but gratitude for my life here on earth and the many, many blessings that have rained down from heaven.

It truly is a happy birthday!

Shhh!

Sam and I are big-time readers. And it's no surprise that books can be found everywhere in our home. For me, there is no happier surprise than stumbling upon one of our kids sitting quietly with an open book.

Friday, April 3, 2009

"Eat me!", said the Marshmellow Man

There is no way our kids would let us get away with a Family Home Evening that didn't conclude with refreshments. So of course, being unprepared and bone-tried, I took a look in the pantry and seized a bag of marshmallows and some toothpicks.

Our imaginations took over and to mom's delight the kids deemed the refreshments a hit!

Monday, March 30, 2009

Spring Cleaning...And the Day I Cried.

I am a big, big baby.

But let me begin at, well, the beginning.

I come from a long line of pack-rats. My mother's favorite thing to tell me and my sisters is that when she dies only we are allowed to look carefully through everything she has saved and divide everything between us fairly. We have already told her that when she dies we are throwing everything into the trash. Seriously, we're not being mean, we're being realistic. My mom keeps a lot of...NOTHING!

Anyway, I should actually thank my mom and grandma because if it wasn't for them I don't know that I would be so determined NOT to save every single scrap of paper, article of clothing, or odd and end that comes my way. And so when we found out that our last child would be a boy, I knew the time had come to part ways with all our storage bins filled with baby girl items.

The task seemed easy enough. Lug it in, open it, sort it, bag it, and heave it off the property. I have plenty of young sister-in-laws to pass things down to, so it was easy to see that all these items would go to a good home.

But when push came to shove, and I had un-earthed all the dainty dresses and teeny-tiny flower print onsies...

well,

I fell apart.

One by one my sweet husband, my girls, and my son stepped over piles of baby clothes to give me hugs and kisses.

They let me have my moment...

to remember...

Each of my daughters was kind enough to stand while holding a former piece of clothing they used to wear. Owen, not wanting to be left out, posed as well.

Iris couldn't stop exclaiming over the tiny hats, and wanted to wear the cap she came home in from the hospital! It still fit-sort of!

I am so grateful for memories, photos, journals, and for this blog.
I'm grateful for my children. When I look at them now, I can see the many days of yesterday, when they were so unbelievably small, and yet I can also see what I hope to be the many days of tomorrow, when they will be big, and mothers and fathers of their own families.

Being a mom is a blessing.
It sure does come with a lot of tears!
But I'm not complaining.

Why we love Home Depot!

So, yes, they take your money in exchange for items you MUST have to improve what you already own, or to build something you didn't have before. But a happy surprise came to the Elmer family during what was supposed to be a quick in-and-out Saturday errand for drainage pipe!

What was it?

A free Home Depot Kid's Clinic!

Within minutes the kids donned awesome Home Depot aprons and we were all intent on building pinewood derby thingies.

Note:
Yes, I've served in Scouts before. No, we moved before the official pinewood derby. And yes, I have a son, but Owen is 22 months and still way to young for Scouts. Hence, the "thingies" comment.

The kids had a blast, Sam got to re-live his boyhood, mom learned a thing or two (for instance this wood is really soft!), and when we walked out of the store we had our drainage pipe and a bunch of tracks and cars.

Not bad for Saturday errand!

Seussical the Musical!

On a recent trip to the Downtown Roseville Library we happened upon a library program to kick-off this year's poetry contest. They had members of the cast from "Seussical the Musical" and were giving out free tickets to the show. Isabella was a lucky winner, and on March 7th we headed out for a very special mother & daughter evening.